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Bringing Light into Shabbat

Special gatherings tend to include something different than an everyday event or meal. When we set the table for the holidays or arrange the tablescape at a wedding, there are almost always candles. I know that I spent hours, and I mean endless hours searching for the perfect candleholders for our wedding décor. All that time that I put into searching was worth it because it added that extra special feeling. Any wedding that is at night typically has very dimmed, amber tinted lighting, to give it that soft romantic feel. Candles add the desired extra romantic illumination.


Lighting Shabbat candles creates that same feeling for me, only I get to experience it weekly, not just at a special event. Just as in the biblical story of creation, light was created on the first day. Not the sun and stars which are the actual source that we see light, but just the essence of light; the romantic, warm, and embracing aspect of light. Lighting candles to welcome in and start off Shabbat helps enhance dinner and entirety of Shabbat.


While the candles don't last the entire time, it does create the initial inertia that is needed to shift the mood from a busy week to a purposeful 25 hours. Just as when you take a deep breath before a big exam or putting your hand on your hips to feel a power pose before an important interview, the action of lighting candles helps get you ready to embrace the internal peace, tranquility, and spiritual growth that Shabbat encourages. From the moment I stand in front of these flickering lights, suddenly dinner no longer feels rushed and tastes better, the sweet smells of the warm challah in house get stronger, my clothing appears prettier and feels softer, and the sounds of the room seem more pleasant (yes, even the barking dog doesn't get my nerves going… not as much at least). My soul feels elevated and more connected with the world around me and I can truly embrace my five senses.


I grew up watching my mom light Shabbat candles each week before we sat down as a family for dinner. It was usually the one night a week that we were guaranteed to all be together for dinner. This ritual, always made me feel that there was something special in the air. Yes, it was Friday and I was excited to sleep in and not have school the next day. But it also meant that this was a night to take a break. There was no homework that had to be done, nowhere I had to go, and I knew the entire night would be spent with my family. Mommy made a special meal and daddy made the additional blessings. The most stressful aspect as a kid was fighting with my siblings about what movie to watch or game to play. A Disney cartoon or upwords usually won.


When I was 12 years old, I got my first set of my own two candlesticks for my bat mitzvah. They were very simple but symbolic. I took them with me to college and then grad school. In our family tradition, women light two candles starting at this age (men could also light if they wanted, particularly if they live on their own). Some families have the tradition to light one candle for yourself and add additional candles for your spouse and each child, as you enter into those stages of life. For our wedding, Cody’s parents gifted us a beautiful set from Israel. I saw them the year prior while Cody and I were on a trip there and couldn't stop thinking about them. I was ready for an upgrade and wanted ones that I knew I would like for a long time. Our first Shabbos married, I set them up and used them for the very first time. I got lost in the moment and cried, lighting for the two of us that night.


Every time I look at them and especially when I go to light them, they bring me a sense of excitement. I feel that the beauty and emotional connection I have with them helps me as I take my deep breath to settle into the magic of Shabbat.


Each time I light candles with these candlesticks, I aim to bring myself a little deeper into the moment. Just as when someone is learning to meditate or practice yoga, it takes time, even years, to master the ability to embrace shutting out the world and allow yourself to focus on the moment. That is what I do in the few minutes that I give myself to light.


Before the pandemic, Cody and I were rarely home for Shabbat dinner. We were kindly invited to so many friend’s houses that I would usually light at home and run out the door to get to our host. Ever since we have been socially distancing, we have been on our own. This also means that I don't have the excuse to light and run. Instead, I can give myself all the time I want to stand in front of this special light. I take three deep breaths, close and cover my eyes, say the standard blessing that goes with lighting these candles and then pause. After that pause, I add in any extra prayers I want to focus on. Those can be for health, confidence, improved communication, stronger awareness of my actions, expressing my love based on what the other person needs, sitting in my emotional reactions to the past weeks events, or grounding my desires to fight for social justice. I can then take those thoughts, hopes, and prayers into the next 25 hours and marinate in them, so that when Shabbat ends, I have stronger roots on how I will be intentional with my new week. I write more about this in my instagram post.


Gifting yourself a set that you connect with can be really special. Maybe you’re looking for your first set or you want to get a new to mark a special occasion or maybe you want to expand your set to include more lights. Whatever it is, I thought I would share some with you.


The reason I bring up gifting yourself candle sticks instead of getting them for someone else is because of how special they are. I looked for years until I happened to come across ones that I knew were perfect for me. I do think though that gifting them to someone can be very meaningful and generous. This can be for a wedding, new home or just because. However, if you do want to gift them to someone, I suggest asking if they would like them and if so, if there are ones that they particularly want purchased. If the set that they like is out of your price range, or if they are still deciding, you could also gift them money to put towards a set.


This approach would be my suggestion for any religious based gift (regardless of the persons faith). I do plan to share some ideas on future blogs of other Jewish religious items that I like (mezuzah, challah cover, challah board, kiddish cup, etc) so please check back for those future posts, or sign up for my e-mail list.


If you would like to learn more about the beauty and meaning behind lighting Shabbat candles you can do so here, here, and here.








xoxo,

Shana Bryn




Dress: Zimmerman from Saks Fifth Avenue

Shoes: Saks Fifth Avenue from Saks off Fifth




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*All product images come from designer's or seller's sites.*

*Link is on each photo for the original source.*

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