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Passover for Two: Our First as Mr. and Mrs.

Processing loss to find the joy in a passover for two our first year of marriage.


Our Table for Two

Why is this night different than all other nights? This seems to have gone from a Passover question, to our life question.

Each year, we turn our homes upside down, for what some call it deep spring-cleaning. But for Jewish homes around the world, it is a time that we clean the entire house AND change over the kitchen/dining area. Our specifically designated dishes, cutlery, serving utensils, pots and pans are brought out of the attic, garage, and storage closets to be used for a week, before being placed away again to wait and be used next Passover.

I loved getting to see my grandparent’s floral dishes and cutlery each year. It felt so special to have these heirlooms to enhance our holiday. Also, my Zaidy, had a beautiful voice and would lead a Seder filled with singing. Once he passed, my dad took over the role as leading and mom my has continued the tradition of singing.

The table would be filled with family and friends each year. My mom working endlessly to prepare everything and create a beautiful holiday. the aromas would swirl through the house and up the stairs and the flowers were arrange just right, not too tall so we could see across the table, not too small to get lost in the masses of food displayed. While this number has dwindled over the past few years, it has continued to feel special, since it is a time I get to relish in being with my immediate family.

My husband and I booked our plane tickets months in advance and we were ready to head to Florida. But, just as many others, our plans took a u-turn and we were no longer going home. So, I figured, I would make the best out of it and we could host our own! However, this soon became clear to also not be an option. This loss started to feel like a hard one to process.

The holiday is Passover is about our ancestors being freed from slavery and we read and discuss this story every year. I learned something deeply rooted in this story though that applies to our daily lives. One of my dearest and inspiring friends, Sarah Lehrfield, the Director of Women’s Programing at Aish of the Rockies, gave a class which enlightened us to see we can learn from the Passover story how to set ourselves free from holding back our own growth.

This message felt super pertinent this year, as I was needing to let go of my expectations of going home to allow myself to process this loss and find the positive of spending my first Passover married and alone with my husband. It is easy to become jaded during all of this. Having read the Haggadah, eaten the same foods, cleaned and prepped for so many years, I almost didn’t see the point in going all out. However, for my husband, this was newer. He didn’t grow up with these traditions. Once I could see through his eyes the freshness, newness, and excitement, I was able to find the joy and beauty in this blessing. We prepared our meals together, set the table together, and discussed traditions that we want to foster in our little family. And, after multiple calls to our family for help clarifying and completing everyone, our table and holiday came together. Most of all, I was in awe seeing the light beaming form Cody as he led us through this intimate traditional meal.

While I look forward to being able to expand our Seder table and include family and friends in the future, I loved every moment of connection that we were blessed with one another.

Wishing you all a meaningful and freeing Passover.

Our Annual Frog Photo

xoxo,

Shana Bryn

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