Today would be my cousin's, Mitch's, birthday. This past April I was woken up to a phone call from my family that Mitch had suddenly passed after a motor accident. We had just been together a few weeks prior for my sister's wedding. With covid, living in seperate states, and my littles, we had a few years gap with seeing one another. I wish I knew that our time was limited or I would have called or texted more often. I just assumed we would be together in Florida again in the summer and would catch up more then.
I am still so upset that he is gone. While the physical pain has decreased, I still can't help but pause multiple times a week thinking of how I wont hear his voice again and stay up way too late talking about anything and everything.
I wrote this out for myself a few weeks after, but I wanted to sent it to his parents first. Once I did, it was still hard to share. I let my dad read it before I sent it to his beautiful parents, Keith and Gail, but other then that, I have kept it to myself.
I realized though that when I search who Mitch was, majority of what is found is around death. Not so surprising, seeing that he and his father ran a funeral home together, something Kieth has done for decades. But if it isn't about his job, it is about his passing. And I hate the fact that the primary written memory of him is his passing. So, here is a place to find atleast my memories of our life together.
Thank you for helping me remember Mitch.
xoxo,
Shana Bryn
You know when you don’t know what to say and yet have so much to say at the same time. That’s been my mind since I got the call that you were gone. I didn’t even know how to string together a sentence that would make sense. Because nothing about this makes sense. So I started to write and write and write.
I never knew how to introduce Mitch to my friends. Or how to begin to explain our friendship.
Our friendship started when I was in high school and he was in college. Before that, he probably just thought of me as a total baby. All normal family dynamics.
It wasn’t until my senior year that we became friends. Not in any usual way.
It sounds strange to say “I went to prom with my cousin.” Even more of a shock when I say I was 17 and he was 21. My senior prom was at a nightclub on Atlantic Ave in Delray Beach. A place I believe Mitch had been to numerous times before. At the time, our school didn’t have any rules about who could come to prom. Despite being a really social person deep down, I felt pretty isolated in high school. So having a super cute 21 year old guy as my date definitely boosted my self-esteem. I just left out the part that we had the same last name.
In reality, we knew we weren’t genetically related. Just had the same last name. This made us both “cousins” and friends. But he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day if we weren’t family in some capacity.
We did some family tree exploring after I spent the night at his college dorm when I was considering going to UM. I actually can’t believe that my parents were okay with me staying in a guys college dorm room. Not because of Mitch. But because it’s a college dorm!
I was trying to decide if I wanted to apply early decision to Miami. So, I went to a couple of classes with Mitch. Most notably the Spanish teacher spent a good chunk of time embarrassing him about how we must be dating for me to be there. She was very embarrassed when he said we were cousins.
Of course he also made sure that I got the full experience of being in college by not only taking me to class but also by going to a bar (not sure how he pulled that off). Apparently his parents were more upset when they found out that I was the one sleeping on the floor and that he didn’t insist that he use the sleeping bag and I take the bed. Taking a 17 year old to a bar wasn’t even slightly I concern. Or maybe she didn’t know. Woopsie.
Not to any fault of his, I did not go to UM. It was both a fun and totally awkward time. We bonded over Law and Order by binge watching it until 2am and we did eventually become real friends. Mitch took me to my first R rated movie. And we would check in with each other every couple of months and during every school break. I was so nervous asking him to be my date to prom and was so shocked when he said yes.
We kept the calls going for the next few years. We would go to the beach at the Boca Resort and to summer parties when I would come home from college. One winter we went to the Matzo Ball dance on Christmas Eve and he kept all the drunk guys away from me. So… everyone was not allowed in my bubble. Which helped because that was also the week after I started dating my now husband.
Notably, Mitch even tried to teach me how to drive a stick shift in his little convertible a couple of time. I never did get around to really learning how but I appreciated the effort. Especially since that car was his baby! I was so worried about ruining the gears.
One night, Mitch decided to stay late and go swimming at my parents house until 2am after he brought me home from a party at a friends. I got home in time for my curfew. But he missed his. Next thing I knew my parents were shining a light out their bedroom window because they were woken up from Keith and Gail calling the house frantically. I don’t know who was more upset, his or my parents. I still feel so bad about that!
Between Mitchel’s NY adventures and constantly busy career, and my my moving to and settling in Denver, we hadn’t seen each other as much. Mainly the past few years we would be together for graduations, engagements and weddings and a few birthdays or holidays here and there. But when it mattered, he was there. How do you say to your husband to be, my high school prom date will be out our wedding?!
Thank you Mitch for being such a major part of my growing up from a teen to an adult. Those years are hard when trying to find yourself. You filled the roll of a big brother when I needed it most. While I don’t say that much because saying “I went to prom with my brother” would be even more uncomfortable, the reality is you did fill that role when I needed it. You were the big brother, cousin, friend, and date whenever I needed you there.
I wish this wasn’t all real. I wish I would wake up and be told this was all a really bad dream. I wish I hugged you longer when I saw you the other week. I wish we had danced longer. I wish we had laughed longer. I wish I never let go.
I keep expecting my phone to ring with you asking when I’ll be home next for a beach day. I feel broken knowing that will never happen again.
I love you so much and miss you beyond imaginable.
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